How to Heal Your Life: 12

You Can Cooperate with What Is or Fight with What Is

How many of us are caught up in this one? Our natural tendency is to fight with whatever is in our way (from caveman days) to force the obstacle out of our way as quickly as we can. It’s called denial.

What if accepting the situation could be the first step toward resolution? What if accepting doesn’t mean approval or defeat?

For example, in difficult relationships the tendency seems to be to blame the other person. If only they would do this or that, the problem would be solved. The solution, then, is to change the other person, which, of course, is impossible.

If we cooperate with what is (“I’m not getting what I want” instead of “I’m right and they’re wrong”), the situation gets clearer. Now we are focusing on ourself, the only person we can change.

I like to begin resolution by going within. For example, I have learned to ask myself why I attracted the experience. The answer I come up with most often is, “Learn to stand up for yourself without being angry,” something I’ve been working on for a long time and have finally achieved. If I feel angry, I’ve learned to take time to let go of my anger before talking with the other person. Then it’s possible for me to be clear about what I want and to willingly listen to their concerns, which leads to making better decisions.

Getting clear with what you want is the first step in creating peace in your life. Consider making lists of what you want in every area of your life – your relationships, your career, your finances, and your health. Be honest with yourself. Make another list with those same categories and list what you currently have in each one.

Take the most urgent item and, looking within, ask yourself what you could do to create peace in your heart with that one. What is the lesson there?

That’s called using your challenges to create a happier life.

Live your purpose, love your life.